It's now been almost five months that I've been back from Ghana. I cannot believe how the time has flown right on by. The transition has been an emotional yet powerful experience. I was expecting to encounter re-entry stress and was doing the best I could to prepare myself emotionally and mentally for the transition. The reality was that despite my best efforts, I was going to experience a flood of emotion over my first months back in the states.

My first concern was to apply for grad school. I had already finished two long applications for Christian universities when I found out that although the school and professors are all Christian, it is not a Christian degree. It concerned me because I want to go into counseling but it is crucial that I have a biblical perspective and godly advice for those I counsel. On the day of my interview at one of the Universities, I found out about another school with a program that I was certian was invented specifically to meet my educational desires. Instead of being excited, I was stressed because the application process for grad school is extensive with all the essays that need to be written! On the other hand, it was EXACTLY what I was looking for so I sucked it up and applied.

Meanwhile, my grandma was experiencing severe abdominal pain and cramping as well as back pain. She went through test after test, all of which showed nothing, yet she was still in pain. Eventually, the doctors discovered a "shadow" on her pancreas, which turned out to be a tumor. I have always been extremely close to my grandma and it killed me to see her in such pain, and to have the scare of pancreatic cancer "the silent killer" was more than I ever wanted to handle.

On a Wednesday morning just a few weeks ago, I got the news that I was accepted into the Biblical Counseling program at Southern (the program that was created with me in mind). The day of celebration was short-lived as later that evening we got the news that the tumor is cancer, it's advanced and in-operable.

It's difficult to understand why God allows all this to happen, and especially now. Someone reminded me that there's never a good or convenient time for devistating news, it's always going to be in the middle of life and it's going to be painful. The one thing I know is that through it all God is still God and to Him belongs all the glory and praise. I was encouraged by Psalm 20:

May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the Lord grand all your requests.
NOw I know that the Lord saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
They are brought to their kees and fall
but we rise up and stand firm.
O Lord, save the King! Answer us when we call!

I moved in with my grandparents right after we got the diagnosis. It's been such a joy for me to get this time with them. It has been pretty depressing at times, but I have been so encouraged by the way she is taking this. When she prays, she is praising God for everything He has given her. When she is feeling pain she starts singing "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it". Her faith in her Creator is such an example and encouragment to me.

After getting another test done, we found out yesterday that her in-operable tumor with the aorta running straight through it, is now operable. God has already performed a miracle in getting her into surgery. Praise be to the Great Physician!
We still have a long road ahead of us, and there is much prayer needed. The thing we must always remember is that God is still on the throne, and He will receive all the honor and praise through the good and the bad.